This is my Once Upon A Time (2)

  Back to "broken". A little while ago, my beautiful wife and I were listening to an energy balancing meditation. During this meditation. The woman would ask a question. Then she would stay quiet for a moment allowing for your deepest part of truth to surface. Here we are. My wife and I sitting on the couch, eyes closed, deep breathing listening to the questions one after the next. When she asks something like "When did this block occur, at what age or life time?" This is when I burst into tears and am sobbing from the core of who I am. Why? What was my answer? 

  It was from birth that something was "wrong " with me! Are you kidding me?! How is a person supposed to even do LIFE when they are messed up from the entrance into it? AHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh you just do ;). Well you cry at this realization and you sit with your beautiful wife who reminds you of the tools in your arsenal. BAMM BABY a clearing is born. 

  Now since you have no idea what the crap I am talking about. The next conversation that occurs between mom and I looks something like this.

Me - Do you remember if when I was born people said there was something "wrong " with me?

Mom - No, I don't think anyone said "wrong". I remember them saying something about hyper something or other of your muscles.

Me - Okay, so maybe not the word "wrong" exactly. Did the doctors and nurses make comments about my body? I know Dad used to tell me how cute it was that my little fists were so tightly 

clenched shut that he could lift me up by them.

Mom - I don't think anyone said anything.

Me - Hmmm maybe I picked up on how they were feeling. The unspoken, the energy of the "weirdness" of my little body.

  I was born with something that later we would find out is known as Marfanz. This is when the connective tissue in your wee little fleshy body is either beyond flexible (double jointed) or shortened due from a lack of flexibility. This can cause the lenses in your eyes to be dislocated to one side or the other. Mine of course were doing their own thing and floating about , which meant I was legally blind (shapes, shadows and close up). I was a tightly strung little bundle of joy. If you consider a colicky baby who is stiff as board, a bundle of joy? My amazing family DID consider me a bundle of joy. Thank you more please!

See you tomorrow. Good night all

Love Christi 

This is my Once Upon A Time (1)

 Once upon a time in a land so far away it was more like a nothing, a void or a stirring if you will. Something began.It was me! Like a fiery hot ball of love I flickered into existence.Okay well, a fiery hot ball of love actually would most likely come to an amazing flourish of an explosion.This my friends is where I began.
  Oh yes it sounds oh sooo fabulous and amazing and full of uh uhm I think it's called pain.Yep, thats the one PAIN. With a big fat fucking P-A-I-N. Not your ordinary kind of pain, like "oh hey mommy can I have a magic mommy kiss to fix my boo boo" kind of pain. This is the kind of pain that you don't even really know exists until your beautiful light being enters this amazing fleshy thing called a human being.
  Human being? This of course means nothing to anybody until something happens and we start searching for more. What is more? Some find it in religion others in the stars, I found it in my parents.They are two of the best human beings I know.Why? They of course, are the ones who snatched me out of the swirling vortex of stirring. Okay,okay they invited me to join a family.A family I some how already knew from somewhere and what a great and awesome family we are. I will get to them later.Right now it is all about ME!(mainly because Scott,Amy and Tara think it's all about them lol)
  Here is how I began.Please remember this is my story and I will write it how I feel it to be. If you are one of my amazing family please fill free to comment below ;).Now back to ME. My parents, being the amazing and fabulous people they were decided that after Scott and Amy turned out so freakin adorable they would make "Christi".
  My parents were super active always out and about skiing on snow or water or out four wheeling in the jeep, which is exactly how my amazing mother "broke" me (her words not mine).Just so you know.My conscious mind has absolutely no memory of my mom saying I was "broken".My other parts such as emotions,body and spirit clung to the words I heard as a baby.Yep, long before I even knew what the crap the words meant.It was the energy of the emotion I picked up on. And this is where I began and where I say good night and see you tomorrow.
love Christi

A New Thaang

Hello to anyone and all who are still here waiting and wanting, looking for more from this blogger. I have been absent for quite some time. I found something, something which I allowed to be bigger than my desire to blog, she is now my wife lol.
   I have had multiple moments in the past year where I have said to myself "Why are you not blogging?". I would then have this kind of UGH feeling inside of me. Such as UGH it's so much work to come up with something people want to read and learn about. I started my blog in a space of joy and excitement to share what I know with those who would like to ask the questions and share in an answer. I found that there were no questions being asked and no answers being shared :(, but alas I have had a new thought! Okay, well it is actually an old idea, which is the story of me.
  I have become acutely aware of how much I learn from the stories of others lives that I read or hear about. Have you ever stopped to think " Wow, there is no F...ing way I as little old me would have made it through that life?". With this concept. I watch, listen and learn from those around me. I notice the choices they make or lack of choice. The circumstance which has brought them to where they are and whether or not they are functioning from the literal definition of INSANITY.
  Anyone paying attention at how much I have mentioned I am looking outside of myself? Did you know my story and how I have become the fanfuckingtastic female I am today is rather fun and free and full of craptastic events and choices. This idea seems to bring more excitement to me that the whole thing I was doing before. I am more than happy to answer questions about health and happiness through alternative ideas, but starting tomorrow we will start with my "Once Upon a Time" see you then.

Family

  Family? What does this look like? Many of us have family that we were born into. In the past several days I have been witness to the idea of "family" that is far beyond blood. I have taught my boy's that family are those you meet,connect with and care about. This idea has been made manifest in a huge way with friends,family and friends of both showing up in my life to show support. I am truly blessed!

Animals in Our Arsenal

  Today one of my good friends sent me a text to let me know his long time friend Ivan had passed. Ivan is his cat. This animal has helped him through many hard times. Even though I was receiving a text and couldn't hear my friends voice I knew he was heart broken.
  Cats are mystery,magic,and Independence. Animal-Speak page 258

The Power of Two

  This afternoon I had an appointment with a client to do a massage. This appointment had been on my calender for two weeks and I was excited to work with her again. In the mean time a good friend of mine had surgery on her hand and I have been her care taker.This left me feeling a little unsettled to keep my appointment. 
  I woke and prepared for the day and checked in with my friend only to find that she was in quite a bit of pain. I was torn between my previous commitment and taking care of my friend. I continued forward and headed out to my clients house. Three blocks into my drive my car started sounding like a high end motorcycle. GRRR! It has sounded like this before due to an exhaust leak, something I did NOT want to deal with today.
  When arrived at my destination I explained to my client that I wasn't feeling a 100% and asked if she wanted to reschedule. Stating " I just feel like crying". She smiled at me and said " Oh my gosh this is perfect! I have been working with trusting the universe to take care of me and also feeling on the verge of tears". She suggested that we might both benefit from the session. She then giggled and added "plus I'm paying you". 
  We proceeded as planned and during her massage we were chatting about the things she had been working on. Her stuff was related to money, some how it crossed over to the stuff I have been clearing recently. I questioned her ability to share her skills and be seen and she questioned my trust in the universe and it's ability to provide for me. We both laughed at the idea that with all we know neither one of has asked those questions to ourselves. 
  WOW! How does it get any better than that?! Two amazing, bright, intelligent women assisting the other with healing. I am sooooo grateful for her asking for what she needed and opening the space for me to also grow. The power of two. Who knew?  

Responsibility

  There is this interesting thing labeled "responsible". In the past ten days I have tossed this word around. What being a "responsible" adult looks like. For example. I am responsible for paying bills, buying groceries, putting gas in my car, going to work and checking in with my boy's. These are all things I do willing and enjoy.
   Last week there were a few things I struggled with. One of them being my blog. I questioned the "responsibility" I have to my readers. This may sound silly, yet it has been on my mind. I realized that the majority of post have been when I have had moments that needed me to reach into my arsenal of love. I have been enjoying multiple   AMAZING days, which have required little need for tools.
   It occurred to me this afternoon that the AMAZING days have been something to build upon and add to my arsenal. It also occurred to me that in these moments we forget that these are things to pull from. Such as late night laughter with my friend. Early morning conversations with Cole. Sleeping in late on my days off and midnight walks. These are all things that when I forget to be grateful for them they may become lost from my arsenal.
  The " responsible" piece comes in making sure that even on my good days I want to blog to share with you my friends the things that are working. The AMAZING moments of feeling balanced. The rocks that were hanging out in my pocket. The animals that cross my path that I don't normally see. The art work on my body that holds a message for me. All of these things that are just a part of my life. I will share with you so if they work for you, than add them to your arsenal.

Old School Tool

  Tonight as I was driving home from work. A song came on the radio that has an attachment to a recent past love. I sat there for a minute, listening to the melody, knowing the words that would soon begin. I sat there thinking " Oh it's fine, don't change it."
  All of a sudden it wasn't my voice in my head, it was my mom's. She was saying sweetly " You know Christi the phone has this really great way of working. Not only can you answer it, but you can let it ring or OR you can pick it up and place it back on the receiver. You don't even need to say hello." This was a gift into my arsenal she made over 20 years ago!
  I was allowing myself to be tormented by an ex-husband. The effect his phone calls on my mind, body, and spirit I referred to as an "emotional nuclear war head". Part of me was still in a place of hope and love and with every conversation a little more of me died. My mom happened to be at my house one phone call. She took the receiver and hung it up and said " See simple"
  Tonight when the radio rang my emotional bell. Well let's just say I hung up the receiver and traveled on. It is amazing to me all the little things we gather along the way that bubble up precisely when needed :D

Reality Check

  There is a similar concept my sister's, my mom, and I discuss on occasion. The idea of reverting back to the time before we started our personal awakenings. Also know as the "reality check".       We will talk about the "what if's?". For example. What if we never went to the Excel classes? What if I never did massage? What if I never went to the Light Body class? What if we never made peace with our parent's? What if we never made peace with our sibling"s? What if we were unaware of the possibilities? Then we all look at each other rather confused due to the fact that none of us can even imagine what that would look like.
  As odd as it may sound. I am ever so grateful for all the moments that have brought me to now. Yep, even the ones that hurt. Love you my friends!

Is Music in Your Arsenal?

  This is my middle child Alex. He currently is in the Marines in Japan. I do believe I have mentioned this when speaking of the amazing tool of technology. Today while chatting on Facebook we were discussing one of his "tools"
  He explained to me how listening to music that he had heard me listen to during times when I was sad helped him. Here is his explanation, which makes more sense "Well I remember you listening to it when you were always sad and it makes me think about the happy times about you Because I didn't like it when you were upset so I guess I just subconsciously kind of made it into a positive thing "
  I have been wanting to add music and the power of having it in my arsenal to a blog and have put it off. In my head I saw me making a list of music in my Amazon store to refer you to. After chatting with Alex today I felt it needed to be shared. I will eventually add music and the choices I have used to help bump me from a stuck place. For now I am grateful that something I have used for as long as I can remember is serving my son while he is so far from home. Man, I LOVE THAT KID!!!!!!

Lessons of you

   Sometimes life gives you the lesson first and then the experience, but every once in a while you get the experience first, and then it's up to you to figure out the lesson! Pay attention! This was the message shared this morning from Buddhist Boot Camp .
  On one or more occasions I have had this exact thing occur in my life. The part about the experience first, and the lesson part being left up to me. This often feels like "madness making " to me. I will pull out my tools of "mystic powers", you know tarot cards, crystal ball, magic 8 ball. All those things that run off of your own energy that unless the T.V broadcasts it to us we can't hear haha. 
  Let's be honest now. I am not the only one who goes seeking for answers/lessons outside myself. I ask friends, family,my favorite intuit, the universe and if I had a magic mirror, yep I'd ask that too! The frightening thing for me sometimes is sitting down with ME and asking (ooh no way, don't do it! ) Ahhh yes me. The one person who has all the answers for what plagues my mind/body/spirit. When you are looking for a lesson. Pull out that one amazingly ,huge, fantabulous tool from your arsenal of love!!!
You of course :D

You're Invited

Girl Math = Abundance

  Today is November 17th also known as the day I was born :D. I am in AZ with my little sis and her family. When I am here I am very well cared for and somewhat spoiled, which I love!. Today we went shoe shopping. I currently am short on shoe cash, but have an abundance of credit on my Kohl's card. My sis and I came up with a plan to get both us caught up in the flow of receiving. She pays for my shoes and I put her Kohl's shopping on my card. WIN/WIN, yep girl math, creative sharing even. Abundance for all, YIPPEE. Happy birthday me <3 

Hold on tight and enjoy

How I feel when change happens.
It is terrifying, heart wrenching and nauseating at times. Then awareness sets into my soul and things begin to shift and I love a good roller coaster ride :D

Interesting Point Of View

 Wow! Talked about an eye opening experience! And the ordeal begins with the news from my little sis that my guest room has moved. Uh excuse me! Did you miss the "my" in the part of my guest room?! I don't remember anyone asking my opinion on the matter and who the eff decided this was a good idea?! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, the whole conversation that happened in my head while my very sweet and generous baby sis was talking about the reason for the room swap.
  For years now there has always been a guest room with a closet, bathroom and lovely made bed. This has been my home away from home, my retreat to escape home even. Now I have a lovely bed and a whole butt load of hurt feelings. All I heard my sis say was. "You are no longer important enough to occupy this space" okay so it was the vicious asshole that lives in my head, not my sis. Now what?
  Thank my life, parents, guardians, lovers, teachers and friends for all the knowledge they have added to my arsenal of love. It is here that I found something to wipe my tears away. Well a couple things.
 1) Access Consciousness has something that is referred to as IPOV ( Interesting Point Of View). When you find yourself with an IPOV you run the clearing statement " Interesting point of view, I have this point of view ________ can we uncreate and destroy all that this is? Times a God zillion? YES! good bad right wrong pod poc all nine boys shorts and beyond" Such a great tool to have.
2) I meditate at 2100 every night with a friend and luckily this incident happened about three minutes before it was time for me to "sit quietly", which we learned from  Buddha in Blue Jeans . I focused on allowing my breath to feel me and my friend to support and love me. Moments later I felt strong enough to come back into my new guest room. How does it get any better than this? Love my sis and her gracious ways xoxo

Always remember to ask!

  I do believe I brought this up last weekend. One of my favorite tools is simply to ask for what you want. The Law of Attraction speaks of asking the Universe, which I will often do. I then will do a follow up question to the people around me.
  I am heading to Arizona today. I had hastily packed last night, knowing that I would be coming home from work and walking out the door to the airport. Before going to bed I said my "grateful's" for the day and asked spirit/universe/god (whomever you pray to) " I wonder what the possibility of me getting flexed off work tomorrow is?". Oooh, but wait I am in need for my friend who rides with me. Well guess what? I WAS FLEXED THREE HOURS EARLY!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!   I am now repacked in a more leisurely fashion, blogging, and waiting patiently for my ride . Okay, so not so patiently hahaha.
Namaste

Herbs, Tinctures and Essential oils

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having a new essential oil made to add to my arsenal of love. I work with a great intuit at Crone's Hollow , her name is Ravenstone. I am working on my 4th and 5th chakra's and this herb Galangal is one of the magical things in my new blend.
Medicinal Uses:
As with Ginger, the obvious uses for Galangal are as a, warming, soothing carm inative stomach ally that aids indigestion, flatulence and nausea, especially from travel sickness. But Galangal is more powerful than that. It appears to be effective in the treatment of ulcers (though some sources warn against this use) and be able to fight candida albicans. During the Middle Ages it had a reputation for heart complaints, which was long considered superstition. However, recent research has shown Galangal to be extremely effective in inhibiting platelet aggregation, which under the wrong circumstances can cause blood clots that block arteries and can lead to heart attacks. Thus, it would probably not be a good idea to use this herb excessively if one is already on blood thinning medication. 

CAUTION
Do not use in conjunction with blood thinning medication

Magical Uses:
Galangal nurtures the fire within. It burns away the wishy-washy thoughts of every day affairs and is thus an excellent concentration aid that will help the practitioner to focus his or her intentions. It promotes clarity of vision and helps focusing visualizations. It is also an excellent aphrodisiac that may be useful in sex magic and tantric rituals. 

BOTANICALS:
Plants nourish and feed us, add spice to our life, bestow health and beauty, scent and colour and brighten our days. They mediate love, hope and gratitude; they clothe and cleanse us, they heal and soothe our bodies, minds and souls. They touch every aspect of our existence, from our daily sustenance to the air we breathe, to the keys to other dimensions. They are the alchemists that turn sunlight into the green force of life, continuously revolving, restoring, rebirthing through the cycles of time. They truly are the greatest gift of nature, yet also the one we most take for granted.
Star Child's range of botanicals derives from many regions and traditions of the world. We supply only the best quality herbs, using organically grown and sustainably harvested sources if available. The greater the demand for organic products the more readily they will become available. Your choice to buy and our commitment to supply organic herbs is part of the driving force that sows the seeds for a greener, healthier future. 

USE:
There are dozens of ways in which herbs can be used. Many culinary herbs not only impart a great flavour but also have subtle effect on the digestive process. Other herbs are more medicinal than culinary and can be used as remedies, based on the wisdom of age old traditional plant knowledge. For more detailed information on the different types of preparations that can be made with herbs, please refer to the BOTANICALS USAGE section.
Star Child is where I found this info
Enjoy

Virtual coffee

Ahhh

 Who doesn't need a little help every once in awhile :D

The words we say are strong

 There is something I say to myself to keep from engaging in road rage. When people are trying to edge me off the road or cut me off. I smile and state out loud "Their hurry must be bigger than mine." Today while on my way to a luncheon with Cole in the car. I found myself up the back end of a vehicle and saying rather growly " WHAT the crap?!".
  At this moment I looked at my son who has been battling anxiety for the past few days and saw the unease in his body. I took a deep breath and realized that my "hurry was bigger than theirs". I smiled at Cole and consciously slowed my roll so to speak. I was able to recognize by a statement I had been using for months now that my behavior was effecting those around me, including my son. How simple this concept is of trigger words and thoughts to keep oneself calm,cool and collected.