This is my Once Upon A Time (2)

  Back to "broken". A little while ago, my beautiful wife and I were listening to an energy balancing meditation. During this meditation. The woman would ask a question. Then she would stay quiet for a moment allowing for your deepest part of truth to surface. Here we are. My wife and I sitting on the couch, eyes closed, deep breathing listening to the questions one after the next. When she asks something like "When did this block occur, at what age or life time?" This is when I burst into tears and am sobbing from the core of who I am. Why? What was my answer? 

  It was from birth that something was "wrong " with me! Are you kidding me?! How is a person supposed to even do LIFE when they are messed up from the entrance into it? AHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh you just do ;). Well you cry at this realization and you sit with your beautiful wife who reminds you of the tools in your arsenal. BAMM BABY a clearing is born. 

  Now since you have no idea what the crap I am talking about. The next conversation that occurs between mom and I looks something like this.

Me - Do you remember if when I was born people said there was something "wrong " with me?

Mom - No, I don't think anyone said "wrong". I remember them saying something about hyper something or other of your muscles.

Me - Okay, so maybe not the word "wrong" exactly. Did the doctors and nurses make comments about my body? I know Dad used to tell me how cute it was that my little fists were so tightly 

clenched shut that he could lift me up by them.

Mom - I don't think anyone said anything.

Me - Hmmm maybe I picked up on how they were feeling. The unspoken, the energy of the "weirdness" of my little body.

  I was born with something that later we would find out is known as Marfanz. This is when the connective tissue in your wee little fleshy body is either beyond flexible (double jointed) or shortened due from a lack of flexibility. This can cause the lenses in your eyes to be dislocated to one side or the other. Mine of course were doing their own thing and floating about , which meant I was legally blind (shapes, shadows and close up). I was a tightly strung little bundle of joy. If you consider a colicky baby who is stiff as board, a bundle of joy? My amazing family DID consider me a bundle of joy. Thank you more please!

See you tomorrow. Good night all

Love Christi 

This is my Once Upon A Time (1)

 Once upon a time in a land so far away it was more like a nothing, a void or a stirring if you will. Something began.It was me! Like a fiery hot ball of love I flickered into existence.Okay well, a fiery hot ball of love actually would most likely come to an amazing flourish of an explosion.This my friends is where I began.
  Oh yes it sounds oh sooo fabulous and amazing and full of uh uhm I think it's called pain.Yep, thats the one PAIN. With a big fat fucking P-A-I-N. Not your ordinary kind of pain, like "oh hey mommy can I have a magic mommy kiss to fix my boo boo" kind of pain. This is the kind of pain that you don't even really know exists until your beautiful light being enters this amazing fleshy thing called a human being.
  Human being? This of course means nothing to anybody until something happens and we start searching for more. What is more? Some find it in religion others in the stars, I found it in my parents.They are two of the best human beings I know.Why? They of course, are the ones who snatched me out of the swirling vortex of stirring. Okay,okay they invited me to join a family.A family I some how already knew from somewhere and what a great and awesome family we are. I will get to them later.Right now it is all about ME!(mainly because Scott,Amy and Tara think it's all about them lol)
  Here is how I began.Please remember this is my story and I will write it how I feel it to be. If you are one of my amazing family please fill free to comment below ;).Now back to ME. My parents, being the amazing and fabulous people they were decided that after Scott and Amy turned out so freakin adorable they would make "Christi".
  My parents were super active always out and about skiing on snow or water or out four wheeling in the jeep, which is exactly how my amazing mother "broke" me (her words not mine).Just so you know.My conscious mind has absolutely no memory of my mom saying I was "broken".My other parts such as emotions,body and spirit clung to the words I heard as a baby.Yep, long before I even knew what the crap the words meant.It was the energy of the emotion I picked up on. And this is where I began and where I say good night and see you tomorrow.
love Christi

A New Thaang

Hello to anyone and all who are still here waiting and wanting, looking for more from this blogger. I have been absent for quite some time. I found something, something which I allowed to be bigger than my desire to blog, she is now my wife lol.
   I have had multiple moments in the past year where I have said to myself "Why are you not blogging?". I would then have this kind of UGH feeling inside of me. Such as UGH it's so much work to come up with something people want to read and learn about. I started my blog in a space of joy and excitement to share what I know with those who would like to ask the questions and share in an answer. I found that there were no questions being asked and no answers being shared :(, but alas I have had a new thought! Okay, well it is actually an old idea, which is the story of me.
  I have become acutely aware of how much I learn from the stories of others lives that I read or hear about. Have you ever stopped to think " Wow, there is no F...ing way I as little old me would have made it through that life?". With this concept. I watch, listen and learn from those around me. I notice the choices they make or lack of choice. The circumstance which has brought them to where they are and whether or not they are functioning from the literal definition of INSANITY.
  Anyone paying attention at how much I have mentioned I am looking outside of myself? Did you know my story and how I have become the fanfuckingtastic female I am today is rather fun and free and full of craptastic events and choices. This idea seems to bring more excitement to me that the whole thing I was doing before. I am more than happy to answer questions about health and happiness through alternative ideas, but starting tomorrow we will start with my "Once Upon a Time" see you then.

Family

  Family? What does this look like? Many of us have family that we were born into. In the past several days I have been witness to the idea of "family" that is far beyond blood. I have taught my boy's that family are those you meet,connect with and care about. This idea has been made manifest in a huge way with friends,family and friends of both showing up in my life to show support. I am truly blessed!

Animals in Our Arsenal

  Today one of my good friends sent me a text to let me know his long time friend Ivan had passed. Ivan is his cat. This animal has helped him through many hard times. Even though I was receiving a text and couldn't hear my friends voice I knew he was heart broken.
  Cats are mystery,magic,and Independence. Animal-Speak page 258

The Power of Two

  This afternoon I had an appointment with a client to do a massage. This appointment had been on my calender for two weeks and I was excited to work with her again. In the mean time a good friend of mine had surgery on her hand and I have been her care taker.This left me feeling a little unsettled to keep my appointment. 
  I woke and prepared for the day and checked in with my friend only to find that she was in quite a bit of pain. I was torn between my previous commitment and taking care of my friend. I continued forward and headed out to my clients house. Three blocks into my drive my car started sounding like a high end motorcycle. GRRR! It has sounded like this before due to an exhaust leak, something I did NOT want to deal with today.
  When arrived at my destination I explained to my client that I wasn't feeling a 100% and asked if she wanted to reschedule. Stating " I just feel like crying". She smiled at me and said " Oh my gosh this is perfect! I have been working with trusting the universe to take care of me and also feeling on the verge of tears". She suggested that we might both benefit from the session. She then giggled and added "plus I'm paying you". 
  We proceeded as planned and during her massage we were chatting about the things she had been working on. Her stuff was related to money, some how it crossed over to the stuff I have been clearing recently. I questioned her ability to share her skills and be seen and she questioned my trust in the universe and it's ability to provide for me. We both laughed at the idea that with all we know neither one of has asked those questions to ourselves. 
  WOW! How does it get any better than that?! Two amazing, bright, intelligent women assisting the other with healing. I am sooooo grateful for her asking for what she needed and opening the space for me to also grow. The power of two. Who knew?  

Responsibility

  There is this interesting thing labeled "responsible". In the past ten days I have tossed this word around. What being a "responsible" adult looks like. For example. I am responsible for paying bills, buying groceries, putting gas in my car, going to work and checking in with my boy's. These are all things I do willing and enjoy.
   Last week there were a few things I struggled with. One of them being my blog. I questioned the "responsibility" I have to my readers. This may sound silly, yet it has been on my mind. I realized that the majority of post have been when I have had moments that needed me to reach into my arsenal of love. I have been enjoying multiple   AMAZING days, which have required little need for tools.
   It occurred to me this afternoon that the AMAZING days have been something to build upon and add to my arsenal. It also occurred to me that in these moments we forget that these are things to pull from. Such as late night laughter with my friend. Early morning conversations with Cole. Sleeping in late on my days off and midnight walks. These are all things that when I forget to be grateful for them they may become lost from my arsenal.
  The " responsible" piece comes in making sure that even on my good days I want to blog to share with you my friends the things that are working. The AMAZING moments of feeling balanced. The rocks that were hanging out in my pocket. The animals that cross my path that I don't normally see. The art work on my body that holds a message for me. All of these things that are just a part of my life. I will share with you so if they work for you, than add them to your arsenal.